we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
