I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
