Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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