He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
