I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize