yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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