the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
