If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
