yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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