Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize