You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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