I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize