I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Dear god my vagina.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize