I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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