If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what day is it and did you see me today?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
