well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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