i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I would ride that face into the sunset
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
