i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
