What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
kristin has been a bad kristin
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
