I love having hate sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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