well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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