I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
