he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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