I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
