call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
