I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
