No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize