yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize