we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
