there's paper in my vomit.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
