Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
