this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
