well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He passed out mid-signature
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
