I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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