I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
