Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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