I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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