Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
