he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize