dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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