Plan B is the new Plan A
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
