I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
