Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm jealous of your bromance
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
