drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
