he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
