i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
