I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need moral support for this bender
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
