i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
