You work out of a Hotel?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
