every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
