Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize