I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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