reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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