I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
