You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
