and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
