Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
