She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
