also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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