Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So vagazzling was a success
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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