maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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