Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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