this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
