So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
