Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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