no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude i'm inner monologue high
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
