Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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