How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
