dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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