I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
