We're facebook friends in real life
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
